Enthusiasm. This was not the first virtue I chose for the Ben Franklin makeover, however I now know it should have been. Being enthusiastic on demand has been a challenge for me. I really do not know why, since it’s not like I’m in a bad mood, or have something heavy on my mind. No, it’’s not that. But what exactly is it?
My old blueprint tells me:
“I’ve always kept my emotions to myself, the good and the bad, and that people have already told me this. This is already you Eric, why are you trying to change us. We’ve been just fine so far. You’ve been enthusiastic enough with your readings. You’re doing good on Kindness and Courage, no need to push it.”
I dislike you right now. You are trying to interfere back into my life. I want to be enthusiastic and show emotions of enthusiasm. I want to make that choice. I want to decide for myself.
“Oh boy, are we back on that decisiveness stuff from a few weeks ago Eric? Come on now, we’ve been doing this for 42 years. I protect you. I know what’s best for you.”
I ponder on that for a moment. I think about what the peptides are doing right now and which of them are firing, and which of them are resisting breaking apart from one another. Which of them are introducing themselves to another, and which are already forming new bonds.
No old blueprint. I no longer believe you know what’s best for me. I believe we are in an argument currently, and you do not know what is going to happen. You are now experiencing that 4 letter word you allowed me to experience this whole time: Fear. You are trying to speak up and take control, and it is my decision that I will not let you. I, and only I, know what’s best for me.
I have already made my decision. I have already gave myself Permission.
I give myself permission to be decisive, kind and courageous.
I give myself permission to be enthusiastic.